Leading when you are tired

This guide is for the people who hold small charities together: founders, directors, board chairs and lead volunteers who are tired in a way a weekend doesn't fix. If you are reading this at the end of a long day, thank you for the work you do. After reading, you will have some practical ways to notice when you are running on empty, hand things off, say no without guilt, and ask your board for real support. This guide offers practical ideas from people who have run charities. It is not medical advice. If you are worried about your health, please talk to a doctor or another qualified professional.

Why small charity leaders get so tired

Small charities often run on the energy of one or two people. The needs you see are real and never-ending. There is rarely enough money, time or help. Many leaders are unpaid, fitting charity work around jobs and families. And because you care deeply, it can feel wrong to rest while people still need help.

This combination wears people down. People often call it burnout: a state of deep exhaustion that comes from long-term stress, often linked to work. Being tired doesn't mean you are weak or doing it wrong. It usually means you have been carrying too much for too long.

Noticing the signs

Burnout often creeps in slowly. You may notice:

• Feeling tired even after rest
• Dreading tasks you used to enjoy
• Feeling cynical or numb about the work, or about people
• Getting irritable with volunteers, family or the people you serve
• Finding it hard to focus or make decisions
• Working more hours but getting less done
• Letting your own health, sleep or relationships slip

If several of these sound familiar, take them seriously. Ask someone you trust whether they have noticed changes in you. Sometimes others see it first.

Delegation: you don't have to do it all

Delegation means handing a task, and the authority to do it, to someone else. Many leaders avoid it because "it's quicker to do it myself" or "nobody else knows how." Both may be true today. Neither will stay true if you never share the work.

How to start:

1. List everything you do for a week. Every task, big and small.
2. Sort it into three groups: only I can do this; someone else could do this with some help; someone else could do this now.
3. Pick one task from the last group and hand it off this month.
4. Explain the outcome you want, not every step. Let the person find their own way where it doesn't matter.
5. Write down how you do recurring tasks so others can pick them up (see our succession planning guide).
6. Accept "good enough." Someone else's way may be different. That's okay.

Good tasks to delegate early: social media, booking rooms, ordering supplies, data entry, thank-you notes, newsletter layout. Skilled volunteers, including those you find through the Golden Hint Exchange, can also take on bookkeeping, design or tech tasks.

Saying no

Every yes uses up time and energy you can't spend elsewhere. Saying no to some things is how you say yes to what matters most.

Ways to say no kindly:

• "That sounds like a great idea. We don't have the capacity right now. Can we come back to it in spring?"
• "I can't take that on, but I can introduce you to someone who might."
• "We're focusing on our two core programs this year, so we're not adding new ones."

Before you agree to something new, ask:

• Does this fit our mission and our plan for this year?
• Who will actually do the work?
• What will we stop doing to make room for it?

Protecting your time

• Set working hours for charity work, even as a volunteer, and tell people what they are.
• Turn off notifications outside those hours. Agree what counts as a true emergency and how people should reach you then.
• Block time in your calendar for focused work and for rest.
• Take real breaks, and arrange cover before you go.
• Keep one part of life charity-free: an activity, a friendship, a weekly evening.

How boards can support leaders

A board's job is to guide and support the charity, and that includes caring for the people who lead it. Board members can:

• Ask the question. In one-to-one conversations, ask leaders how they are really doing, and listen.
• Look at the workload. Is one person doing three jobs? What can the board take on or fund?
• Insist on time off, and help arrange cover so it is real.
• Plan for succession, so the charity doesn't depend on one person.
• Say no on the leader's behalf to requests that don't fit the plan.
• Celebrate progress, not only problems. Start meetings with what went well.
• Pay fairly when the charity can, and review workload when the charity grows.

If you are the leader, it is okay to bring this to your board directly: "I need help. Here are three things that would make a difference."

Finding support for yourself

You don't have to figure this out alone.

• Peers: other charity leaders understand in a way few others can. Meeting regularly, even for coffee, can help.
• Mentors or coaches: someone outside your charity who can help you think.
• Friends and family: let them know when you are struggling.
• Professionals: a doctor, counselor or therapist, especially if tiredness is affecting your health, sleep or mood.

A small weekly check-in

Once a week, ask yourself:

• Did I take at least one full day off from charity work?
• Did I hand off at least one task?
• Did I say no to something that didn't fit?
• Did I talk honestly with someone about how I'm doing?
• Did I do one thing just for me?

Leading a small charity is a gift to your community. You are allowed to protect the person giving it.

If you would like to talk with another charity leader who has been there, ask a member charity for help through the Exchange.

If you are in crisis or thinking about suicide, or worried about someone else, you can call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, or chat at 988lifeline.org. It is free, confidential and open 24 hours a day.